We want to say hello, but we first have to say goodbye.

I have found nothing "good" about goodbyes. As my friend Josh Alvarez would say, the good should be changed to lame and stupid so it would then be lameandstupidbye. Because in my mind that's what it is. All the goodbyes in the past few days have brought nothing but tears, and sadness.

I was doing totally fine until the last Sunday, the Sunday of the boys journey. I had been going strong all weekend long, thinking about the whole moving thing from time to time but never grasping the concept completely. I was getting to see and hang out with all of my wonderful friends who I have missed dearly over the months. I was excited to see Tim Schmitt and ask him all about his weekend, and I hadn't even thought about the whole saying goodbye part yet. Then Jake Nielsen came up to me and gave me a hug. The look on his face was just so incredibly heartbreaking. I thought to myself that he's going through the exact same thing as me right now, except he's not just moving a few hours hours away but half of the country. The tears started to roll down me cheeks as I handed out hugs to others and they told me how much they were going to miss me and how they will be praying for me.

The next few days after that I spent most of it packing my room up and making my rounds saying goodbye. It's hard to think that it's not just see you later, but that it might not be until Thanksgiving until you see them again. The fact that all your best friends are going to different schools as you, and all of your break schedules are different, making it just that much harder to see them. The tears though didn't start to come again until my dad came in on my last night home, gave me a hug and started crying as he told me how much he loved me and how much he was going to miss me.

Your parents are the worst when it comes to saying goodbye. You know they're going to cry, which you know will only make you cry and so on and so forth. As my parents dropped me off today, they did good, holding the tears until right as they left. And as the goodbyes start coming to an  end, you start to say hello to new things. Your dorm, your roommate, the RA, the people in your hall. But all of these hello's might not be what you expected. My dorm is tiny. Being cramped in a corner is not really what I had in mind. The food is nothing like my mom's cooking. I've only been gone a day and I miss it already. Random people will come up and just start talking to you and NEVER stop. But you start to make new friends and the hello's get easier and easier. 


One day I'll have this hello goodbye thing down, but I know for sure that it's not today. Maybe one day, but not today.